The Year of Earnestness

Sincerely, Ashley

I think we’re in for a deeply earnest turn of vibe. I’d been thinking for weeks, months really, about how I was ready to become more earnest and after dipping my toe once or twice last year, 2024 feels like the absolute time to take the plunge. I mentioned it to Claire and she had just spoken with our friend Josh (subscribe to his substack!) about the way earnestness is rearing its cutie little head. She asked if I thought it was a culture shift or if we were just in our 30s but I truly believe we’re in an earnest era.

The world is cynical and has only gotten more-so since my teenage years when any display of emotion was already cringe. Now we’re steeped in a culture of friendship and dating where revealing any sign of feeling before someone else shows their cards first is enough to knock someone out of the game for years. We’re told to never text first, never call randomly, god forbid say I love you first. When it comes to making new friends I’ve seen a lingering fear in so many of our Worm to the Wise episodes that no one wants to look desperate or to come on too strong. In dating, almost every girl I know is a borderline anthropologist studying the movement in their crush’s face to ascertain whether or not her feelings might be reciprocated. On top of it all, so much of current life, whether you’re a public figure or not, is so intertwined with the way it might be perceived online people are paralyzed with anxiety.

I think this era of earnestness stems from a state of absolute exhaustion. Everyday news has gotten exponentially more horrifying and putting on airs in day to day life is just too much. I don’t speak another language but I’ve heard that when you speak a few and get exhausted, translating in your head just becomes too much and you kind of revert back to your first language. I feel like that’s what’s happening right now, people are just so tired of fronting and there’s a choice to either clam up entirely or let it all out. You can shut out the world or you can genuinely make efforts in everyday life to show up for yourself and your loved ones. You can keep guessing what someone else is thinking or you put yourself out there and ask.

I recently stumbled across a whiteboard in the park that introduced me to my new favorite saying:

Winter Birding is punk and metal. But it’s not about numbers, it’s about exercising awareness and getting zen.

I’ve talked about it ad nauseam but it applies to everything. I love the idea of being in a place of appreciating life, activities, people, etc. by ignoring the implications of being perceived and going straight to presence and zen.

Maybe I’m just in my 30’s or maybe we’re all out of energy to act like we’re too cool for anything. I don’t have time to both play it cool and also text my friends that I’m thinking about them while we’re bombarded by stress and tragedy. I know that sounds dramatic but I’m feeling fuckin’ earnest!!! If I only have time for one way to be, I want it to be the way that puts a shred of positivity and calm and appreciation into the world and I don’t have it mastered but I don’t feel alone in my practice. In exercising awareness and getting zen I feel the tide shifting us all towards earnestness.

Other Stuff I Like Right Now

• I have been absolutely vibing to Orville Peck this week. I’ve been a casual listener for a minute or two as I’ve dabbled in alt country but after listening to his episode of 24 Question Party People I’m smitten.

• I’m about halfway done with Against the Loveless World and it’s just so lovely and heartbreaking. I keep having to pause to read some other things for the podcast and the patreon but I’m loving it so much.

• Bouldering! I’ve been a boulderer for exactly one week and I can’t stop talking about it.

• Check out everything else I’m reading and consuming on Shelf!